Dark Minds, Even Darker Hearts
by TheLoneWhiteAndGreenWolf
Summary: Lucy has too many dark thoughts and eventually leaves the guild only to meet the one person she never thought would understand her... Well... That's not until both of them are on the verge of death... ZerLu with sight NaLu, LaLu, and GaLu...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, you guys! Thank you all for checking this story! I hope you like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fairy Tail! (Though I wish I did!)**

* * *

 **Lucy's POV**

Here I am. I'm drowning. I'm drowning in a pit of despair. Crying every night. Trying to sleep. Wanting to die but failing every time. Maybe I should walk away. But this time. Maybe I should walk away from everyone. No. I won't walk away from everyone. Just mostly everyone. I'm slowly cutting off most people. I'll only keep two or three. Not even. I don't want to hurt them if I succeed. I just want my wish to be fulfilled.

My wish. A simple wish really. My wish is to die. To die and have no one care. To have no one grieve when I'm gone. That's all. Why should someone grieve over a nothing? When someone says they are a nothing. I can make them feel like a something. Though. As for me. I don't feel like an anything. No matter what. I refuse to have pity. I don't like it. I never have. I never will. But being a nobody. Makes it easier. To disappear. Why not disappear…? I mean… My pain… It controls me. Not even shutting off my emotions help me with my pain. Living… Breathing… It all hurts…

It hurts… It's too much… I can't feel… No… It's not that I can't… It's just that I don't want to… I turned off the will to feel. The will to laugh a real laugh. Or cry a real tear. I only feel pain. No real happiness is in my life. I haven't found it yet. I thought that maybe… Just maybe… Someone could reinstate happiness in my life… But I was wrong. Being happy? I don't see the whole point in it… Someone always gets hurt. Whether they realize it or not. They are hurting someone else. Being hurt. Sucks… It makes you feel like there is nothing left. And sometimes… It breaks people entirely...

You think someone is here for me? Ha. You're funny. I'm alone now. I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life. Watching the people I thought cared about me turn against me... The people who said they'd be there for me… Turn their backs on me… The people who promised me forever… Gone. One by one. Each and every one of them will end up leaving me. Don't try and tell me otherwise. I don't know much. But I know society. I know the people I have around me. I'm alone… Shattered. Broken. Done. I'm done with life. I'm done with thinking that one day… Everything will be okay and I can be happy… But I can't. Not anymore. I've lost everyone… I'm tired of people telling they are here for me but they leave me the minute they get the chance… You think I'm stupid? Because I'm not. I can read the toon you're playing in your head. You just want to leave me too. Don't you?

You're just like everyone else. Leaving because they don't like me. Find me annoying. Or just don't want to deal with my bullshit. I'm sorry I have problems. I'm sorry I'm mentally not well. I'm sorry I cared. And most of all! I'm sorry I even tried to be friends with people. You all clearly hate me. Don't want me around. Want me to die. Whatever the case is. It's all the same. No matter what I do. I'll either hurt you. Or I'll get hurt myself. And since I'm done with people. No one will have to worry about me hurting them. Whether it's now. Or later. No one has to worry about it anymore. Because I swear I'm done. I'm just straight up done. Feeling? Is out of the question. Caring? Isn't an option. Loving? Fuck that shit. No matter how you put it. I'm just done. I don't want to care. So I won't! Because affection. Only messes with the minds of mankind. There is no way to fix it either. I'm done! I want to die in peace. But that's not going to happen so long as there are people around me who care...

So I will walk away from the world. And I'll try and smile. But it won't be real. I keep my things to myself. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I only make people worry or annoyed. So what's the point? No one should care. I'm a nobody. No. Actually! Nobody is too good for me. I'm a nothing to everyone and everything. I see no point in being a something if I'm just hurting everything. People. Animals. Anything I can get my hands on I hurt. I've seen so many people in pain because of my decisions in life. Don't tell me you care. I know you don't. If you did. I wouldn't have to be the one to send the first text. I wouldn't have to be the one to start a conversation. I wouldn't be the one to start anything. I would just be there. But if I didn't do anything? I would be alone. Maybe I should be alone… It's better for everything and everyone, I'm done. "I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends one's a bottle of pills and one's a bottle of Gin… I'm twenty stories up yeah up at the top… I polished off this bottle now it's pushing me off… Asphalt has never looked so soft…" Entirely how I feel anymore. Stay? Or go? That's not up to me It's up to the way people treat me. And they treat me like shit. So! Someday soon. I'll say goodbye and maybe then I'll be happy.

Let me go. Let me leave. Let me smile. Let me be. I want to be happy and it seems the only way I can do that is by dying. So, please. Please let me die. Let me say goodbye. Let me smile a real smile as I fade away and leave this cursed world. That way I don't have to continue lying to you That way I don't have to keep saying "I'm fine..." Just let me go! Don't look back… Don't try and stop me… I cared for so long and now it's over… Feeling any sort of emotion is not an option… If it was at one point in time… It's not now… And it never will be… Never again… I swear it… Why should I feel..? Tell me… Why should I even care when no one else does… Why should I be the one that's in pain when I was just feeling… If this is where feeling will get me then forget it… Forget it all…Because I am done… I refuse to feel… I'm done with it… Almost as much as I am done with life… Don't… Whatever you are thinking don't do it… I don't care what it is… Unless you are thinking that you might want to leave or that you should leave then don't think it… If you are thinking you should leave or that you want to leave… Then, please… Keep thinking it… It'll make my life easier… Because in the long run… I still don't like hurting people because of my own selfish actions… I see no point in it… Just leave me be… Like everyone else has… Just leave and save yourself from me… Before I hurt you or someone else close to you… Please… Just go… All of you…

I know now that no one needs me… I've accepted it… I'm just a therapist… Aren't I…? You only come to me when you need help… You only want me when I have something… You… All of you… Slowly broke me… Slowly… But surely broke me… Both inside and out… I want to feel that blade again… I want to feel it ripping into my skin… I want to see the blood slowly pour our of my body… I want to smell my blood as if continues to pour out… And most of all… I want to cry as it happens… I want to end it all… But… Should I…? I mean… I was left alone by… What…? Everyone…? My "Best Friends"... Are never there for me… The people I actually cared about… Have all turned away from me… They pushed me down… And ignored me…

Walking away from the world… Would make my life easier… It would make me happy… It would… It would do so much… It would do more good for me than for the "Friends" who actually cared… But I don't think any of them cared… I really don't think they do… They never have… No one has… No one will… Living life now… Means nothing to me whatsoever… What reason do I have to live when everyone hates me… When everyone uses me… When everyone manipulates me… When everyone breaks me down… Cuts me up… Rips me apart and threw me as far away as possible… Tell me… Tell me why… "And I've lost it all… Fell today… It's all the same… I'm sorry… .I'm sorry… And I've been abused… I feel so used… Because of you… I'm sorry… I'm sorry..."

Do you realized how I feel now…? Do you see how broken I am…? Do you understand why I want to go…? Why I want to die so badly…? I want to disappear… Vanish… Be gone and done with everything and everyone… No matter who is reading this… I want to be wiped off the face of the Earth… You have no idea anymore… I'm tired of it all… I can't do this… I'm tired of being manipulated. I had to deal with that shit from my mother and father both… I love my friends. But enough is enough. It feels like I'm reliving my past, and I can't do that. I just can't. I won't either. I feel like I'm being suffocated. Memories keep popping up of every time I was used. And what happened when I was finished? I was beaten. You know why? Because I fucked up and I ended up hurting them or the person they cared about.

So please. Let me walk away. Let me leave this world. Let me be alone that way I know who I am and who I need to be. If I need to change then I will. But until then? Just don't bother with me. I'll just hurt you in the long run. I don't want to, but it seems that way. I've hurt too many people. I don't you to be next. I'm not doing this for just myself. I'm doing this for everyone I care about because I know that I will hurt them. I don't want to hurt or leave anyone but I'm tired of being manipulated.

I can't repeat the cycle anymore. Both of my parents manipulated me. And when I fucked up and hurt them or someone they cared about, they beat me. Then turned around and repeated the same thing. Even though my "friends" don't beat me… They leave me for at least the next week or two. They just ignore me. But they manipulate me. I can't stand it. The fact that I feel like my life is a broken record. It just keeps repeating and I can't seem to find out how to fix it… Why do you think I can't sleep at night? Why do you think I don't like talking to people? Why do you think I don't like being touched? Tell me! Please! Because apparently what I'm feeling is wrong. Is it? Is it really wrong? The only thing I see wrong is the fact that I still have certain emotions turned on… Yeah. You heard me. I still have certain emotions on that I can't seem to turn off. And they won't no matter how much I try. They won't and it kills me every single Goddamned mother fucking day. I like to be alone. But I love my friends. And even though I love my friends… I still get stabbed in the back repeatedly.

I am not your therapist. I am not a doll you can play with. I am not a ball, and therefore, you cannot kick me around. I'm not here for your entertainment. I am here to live my life. But I can't do that if you keep hurting me. Stop hurting me. I try my best not to hurt you, and if I do. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm weak and useless. But you don't need to worry about me anymore. I'll leave you alone. I'll sit in the back and ignore everyone if that makes you happy. Live your life and I'll live mine. Stop fucking with my emotions. Stop manipulating me. Stop whatever you are doing, or whatever you are trying to do. Because soon enough I'll be "Gone, gone, gone, gone." And you won't even have to worry about breathing the same air as me…

* * *

 **Well! There you have it! A new story! Sorry if I get slow to update! Just let me know if you want me to update a specific one! I'll do my best!**

 **Favorite, follow, and review please!**

 **Love you guys!**

 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, you guys! Thank you all for checking this story! I hope you like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own Fairy Tail! (Though I wish I did!)**

* * *

 **Lucy's POV**

Stop caring. You don't need to. I don't give a fuck anymore. I should? Why? Why the fuck should I give any fucks? I'm alone. Whether you want to accept that or not. I'm. Not. Giving. Anymore. Fucks. For anyone or anything. Oh, you hate me? Cool. I don't care. Oh, you need me? I don't care. You didn't need me last week. So why do you need me now? You don't. So don't you dare tell me you do. Stop bothering me if that's how it's going to be. Don't talk to me. Look at me. Think of me. Or even say my name. Just don't. If you don't care about something, don't talk about it. If you don't like something, it should be the furthest thing from your mind. So fuck you! Fuck everything! Because you have no idea how done I am. Not just with you. Not just with people. I mean everything. Even life. Fucking life has fucking fucked me over so many fucking times. I refuse to deal with it. And I mean legit refuse.

What do you want me to do? Stay? Ha! You're funny… Stop telling me lies. I don't need them in my life… Better yet! How about I switch off my emotions and we keep talking to please your happy ass… Or you know. Just be like everyone else who has fucked me up emotionally and we could keep talking. It'll just fuck me up even more. If it makes you happy I'll go numb. I won't feel. For you… But then again… What's best for me? Oh wait! That's right! You don't care. Stop using me for you're own purposes. I'm not a doll. And I'm not yours. So leave me alone. Let me sit in my room. Let me blare my music. Let me cut. Let me bleed. Let me die. Let me be. Let me walk away. Let me be alone. That's what's best for me.

The blood. Oh the blood. I love watching it. I love watching it pour out of my leg. I love watching it stain. The way it falls on the floor. Bleeding… So much pain leaves me… Each cut representing something… I love it… The way my pain goes away as I cry on the floor. You don't understand… So why am I telling you? Because. The next time you meet someone as suicidal as me. Maybe you won't fuck up as much. Maybe you won't fuck them up as much as you fucked me up. I'm done with you people. You've hurt me enough. Can't you see that?! Can't you?! Why can't you see it?! You've fucked me up so much mentally to the point of where I ended up fucking myself up physically. You don't care though do you? No. Because you're too focused on you. You don't care about others and I'm done with it. You are one of the reasons I've given up on humanity. I've given up because of you.

You fucked me up. Mentally. I can't fucking sleep at night anymore… I just stare at the fucking ceiling hoping that sleep will take over and I won't have to cry myself to sleep anymore… That way I don't have to think about anything… But every time…. EVERY TIME I close my eyes I see everything you've ever done to me…. The beatings…. Lashes… Glass… The words…. All the yelling…. Just all of it is killing me… But you don't care so why am I bothering you by making you read this…?..

Physically. Beating me with anything you could get your hands on…. You threw books… Candles… Remotes… Shoes… I was fine with those… But as time moved on and I didn't even cry anymore when you did it… I got harder things… Empty picture frames… Pots… Pans… Chairs… And almost anything glass… I bled… I bled so much… So many times… Constantly begging you to stop… Knowing you wouldn't… Still trying… Why…?.. I want to know why you did this to me….?.. What did I do to you…?..

Emotionally. I don't know what to do because of you anymore. I just don't. I'm lost. I'm breaking. What do you want me to do? Is this what you wanted? Did you want to fuck me up? Because I think you did. And guess what? You got your wish… I'm as fucked up and a filing cabinet that had a sledge hammer taken to it. YOU GOT YOUR WISH!

I bet you're happy… With your new lover I mean… Boy, do I regret it so much now… I can't believe I let you in… Family or not… I can't believe I let you in and you treated me like shit… Do you want me dead? Because it really seems to me that you want me gone and out of your life… Forever… That is…

"Tell me the truth… Did you ever love me…?.."

I don't think you did to be one-hundred percent honest with you…

Family… You know… As family… We were supposed to stick together… Love each other… Stick up for each other… Not put each other down… Beat each other… Lie to each other… Manipulate each other… Family isn't about that… But… I guess I deserve all this and more… So much more… After all, I did ruin your life… I thought… When you saved me from my mistake… That everything would have been fine… Everyone was so happy… But now… I guess not… Just goes to show that I am a fuck up… Like everyone says…

"When the darkness falls… Pain is all… The Angel of Darkness… Will leave behind… But I will fight…"

I put my pain aside… For you…

I put myself in danger… For you…

I did things I never wanted to do… For you…

And what did I get in return…?..

Oh, yeah! I got treated like shit… But I withstood it… For you… Because I thought you cared about me… I thought we were family… I guess not… I was wrong…

Once again… But that doesn't matter to you…

I know that now…

Nothing matters to you… You only want to destroy things… You never worry about anyone… So shut the fuck up and get out… Get out of my life…

Actually… No… I'll get out of yours… I see no problem with that anymore… And I don't see why you would have a problem with it either… There is no issue with it whatsoever…

"I was at the top and now it's like I'm in the basement, number one spot and now he find him a replacement. I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby, and now you ain't around baby I can't think…"

That's what I feel like now… I thought I was at the top… With you… But you called me family… Then found a replacement… I cried… Then died inside…

I became an emotional wreck… I cried every night… I didn't know what to do… So… I cut everyone off… Then became something I'm not… Loud… Violent… Outspoken… Rude… Pissy… But I was still quiet… Many things I never thought I would be… And here I am… Being all of those… You all left me… You all ignore me… When you aren't ignoring me… You're putting me down… And I can't stand it anymore… I feel like I'm breaking… More… And more… As the days go on… I can't stand this… I can't…

"If I went out the back door nobody would stop me… But where would I go…?.. Cause I ain't ever had a real home, so what do I know…?.. So I could keep running hide until they find me… But what would that do…?.."

You wouldn't stop me… I know you wouldn't… You'd gladly open the door and kick me out yourself… Or am I wrong…?.. Hmm…? That's right… I'm not…

I'm not wrong about any of this… You could swear I am, but I know I'm not… You don't give a fuck… I know you don't… Don't lie to me… I hate that more than anything… But that's all you do… That's all you've ever done… You've always done it…

Lie…

That's all you can do, right?

Because that's all you've ever done with me… I might not be able to figure out why… But you've done it, and nothing can change that… Not anymore… I refuse to let anyone in anymore… I'm tired of being hurt… That's all you do… You hurt me…

Your memories hurt…

Being in the same room as you… Hurts…

Your voice…

Smell…

Everything about you… Hurts… Nothing is going to change it… I've learned that… I've dealt with it for I don't know how long… I give up…

* * *

 **Well! There you have it! A new story! Sorry if I get slow to update! Just let me know if you want me to update a specific one! I'll do my best!**

 **Also, I would like to apologize for not updating very much... BUT! I PROMISE THAT NEXT CHAPTER WILL(!) BE MUCH LONGER!**

 **Favorite, follow, and review please!**

 **Love you guys!**

 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


	3. PLEASE READ

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Welcome back! Sorry it takes forever for me to update... I'm trying my best though! So here is the long awaited chapter of Dark Minds, Even Darker Hearts!**

 **DISCLAIMER! I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL! ONLY THE PLOT OF THIS FANFIC!**

* * *

 **Lucy's POV**

 **...**

You have no idea how much you hurt me… It's a constant thing… The pain… Oh the pain… You cause me so much pain… The way you act… You act as if nothing has happened… You still try an put your arm around me… And I have to fucking sit here and deal with it… Whenever I did react… You got all pissy… Rude… And obnoxious… So I had to fucking smile and deal with this shit because I didn't want to deal with your bullshit… It pisses me off so fucking much anymore...

I have to smile everyday… I have to fucking smile because if I don't you get all over me and just sit there and piss me off… You smile at me constantly and it makes my heart flutter… But I can't… I can't be like that…

You have her… You have her beautiful smile to wake up next to… Her beautiful sapphire blue eyes… Her perfect hourglass figure… Her amazing silver hair… Everything about her is fucking perfect… And I'm just… Me… How could you have just sat there and told me you loved me with all your heart but be engaged to her the next fucking day…?.. Do you know how much you fucking broke me?

Because if not…

You legit broke my heart into thousands of pieces and sold my soul to fucking Satan himself…

I'm sick of feeling this way…

I'm tired of all the pain…

Make it stop…

Please…

I'm begging you…

Just for now…

Make it all stop…

I'm done… I just want end everything…

Fucking slit my fucking throat open and bleed out as I drink some fucking bleach!

That sounds a little insane doesn't it?

But hey…

This might work…

Maybe I should write a note though…

Just to let everyone know what happened…

To tell them why I did what I did…

 **…**

 **Normal POV**

 **…**

She stands up and walks to her desk. She dried her eyes and grabbed her favorite black pen. She sat now and sighed.

Even though she had just dried her tears, they were already forming again…

 **…**

 **Lucy's POV**

 **…**

"I… I don't want to… But… What should I do…?.. I can't stay here anymore… It hurts too much…"

My tears are falling so much harder than before as I write out my note…

"Dear Fairy Tail,

"If you are reading this… That means that I have seriously gone through with my attempt… I'm so, so, so, so, so fucking sorry everyone… I wasn't strong enough to keep going with life… He hurt me to points that I didn't even know was possible…

"I'm not saying this is only his fault though…

"A lot of things that have happened… A lot of things that are going on… All of it is my fault… And I am so, sorry… I just… I break everything I touch… I make everything turn to ashes… It hurts me knowing that I've hurt all of you… But there's nothing I can do take any of it back… I've hurt so many people… But in the end… I still put my feelings first… I never thought of you guys… So I'm really fucking sorry for this… I'm just overly selfish… I know… So… I guess this is goodbye…

"Gray: Thanks for always being like my older brother.

"Juvia: Take care of Gray for me please.

"Erza: Please clear up Jellal's name, he's done nothing wrong.

"Natsu: Have fun and take care of yourself.

"Gajeel: Go for her already.

"Levy: You know what to do.

"And everyone else… Well… I love everyone here…

"Please don't cry… I'm not worth those tears… I've done nothing more than cause everyone pain…

"So… I guess this is goodbye…

"I'll see you guys on the other side…

"Goodbye - Lucy Ashley Heartfilia"

And with that I laid my pen down, folded the paper and placed it into the envelope and signed it to whomever my find it.

Drying my tears once again I go to the kitchen…

A bottle of melatonin, seventeen iron pills, and a knife…

That should be enough right…?..

A large bottle of water and some music…

"Just breathe…" I sighed.

Then pill by pill I began to swallow them all…

My body began to shake after about twenty minutes of finishing the pills…

I lift the knife to my wrist and began to push down into it.

" _AHHHH_!" I screamed as the blade slowly tore through my skin open.

The blood from the new wound slowly began dripping on the floor. Slowly, but eventually began to go faster as I removed the blade. The pool of blood began to grow on the floor and my vision began to blur…

Before I realised it…

I was on the ground…

Someone holding me…

Screaming my name…

Begging me to wake up…

 **…**

 **Normal POV**

 **…**

A shadowy figure walked throughout the town…

No one knows who this man is… And this man doesn't know why he's here…

All he knows is that there's something or someone here he want's to protect…

* * *

 **And that's that you guys! Hope you liked it! I love you guys and I'll see you next time!  
**

 **R &R**

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 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, guys... I'm back... Sorry, I'm late, I know everyone has been waiting for me. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

 **See you guys at the end!**

 **...**

 **Laxus' POV**

 **...**

"Lucy! Lucy! Wake up! Lucy!" Her blood pouring out of her, "Shit..." I take off my shirt and wrap it around her wrist.

All of the sudden a man with black hair walked in.

"WHO ARE YOU?! CAN YOU HELP HER?!" I beg the man, "Please... She's like a sister to me..."

"Do you know who I am...? Do you what I am capable of...?" The stranger was looking deep into my eyes, I sensed death, but I knew Lucy was in danger.

"She's going cold, please, help her..." I ask again.

"As you wish, _boy_..." He reached his arm out to Lucy and healed her wrist. "Now, take her to the hospital, she took many pills... All kinds... Even non-medical ones... She will die if you don't hurry..."

"Come with us!" Before giving him a chance to respond, I pulled his arm and zap us to the hospital.

 **...**

 **Normal POV**

 **...**

Laxus zaps everyone to the hospital, the stranger still in tow.

"Wha-?"

"HELP US! SHE'S DYING! PLEASE!" Laxus' words poured out of his mouth like a running faucet, and as if on command, people came and placed Lucy onto the bed and escorted her away. A doctor walked over and spoke to Laxus.

"We'll help her as much as possible, please have a seat, sir."

"Thank you..." Blinking the tears away, Laxus dragged the unknown man outside.

Angered, Laxus threw him against the wall by the collar.

"Who the ever-living-fuck are you? And what do you want with my sister?" He snarled.

"If I tell you who I am, you will not like it; as for the girl, I was drawn to her by an unknown spirit and the strong smell of her blood," The man let out an exasperated sigh.

" _That doesn't tell me who you are,_ " Laxus snarled, " _Who are you_?"

"I am Zeref, the dark wizard who killed Mavis with a kiss."

Laxus dropped the stranger and fell to his knees.

"Why would you save her if you're...?" His breath fell short.

"I felt compelled to."

"What do you want with her?"

"I am not sure myself, young man, but I know she will be the one..."

"The one?" Laxus quarried.

"Yes. The one to change me," Zeref spoke monotoned, "And the one to kill me..."

"Lucy? Kill? She wouldn't.." _Would she?_

"Only time will tell..."

 **...**

 **1 Hour and 15 Minutes Later**

 **...**

A nurse walks out of Lucy's room just was Laxus walks in with Zeref.

"Ah, good timing sir! She is alright now, a matter of fact, she just woke up! Would both of you like to see her?" Her bright blue eyes were glowing and she was overly happy.

"Yes, ma'am we would," Laxus answered.

"Go on ahead in!"

 **...**

 **Lucy's POV**

 **20 Minutes Ago**

 **...**

 _Mhmm... Where...am I...?.._

I open my eyes to see an all-white ceiling and a luminous room, a shot in my arm with a band on my wrist.

"I'm not dead, am I...?" I asked somewhat disappointed.

"Haha! Silly girl! Of course not! You're in the Magnolia Hospital ICU!" A beautiful brown hair blue eyed girl responds happily. "We had to pump your stomach a few times, we almost lost you! How are you feeling, honey?"

"I...guess I'm okay..."

"Good! Let me tell the doctor and then I'll bring your hero's in. Be right back!" She cheered running out of the room.

 _Hero's? Fuck. People just had to walk in... Ugh..._

 **...**

 **Current Time**

 **Normal POV**

 **...**

"Hey Blondie, how ya doin'?" Laxus asks walking in.

Lucy's eyes flew open.

"L-L-Laxus! Are you the-?" She shuddered.

"Yup, I'm the one who found you. This guy helped me save you though." Laxus points to Zeref and Lucy's eyes grew wider.

"YOU!? AREN'T YOU ZEREF?!" Lucy yelled.

"Yes, I am. And your name appears to be Lucy. Should I assume Lucy Heartfilia, daughter of Layla Heartfilia?" Zeref asks.

"That's me! Why is it every time I turn around you're in my dreams? The last time I saw you, we were on Tenrojima."

"You are the one I told you would once kill me, Lucy..."

 _"What is he talking about?"_ Lucy asked herself.

"HOLD UP! ZEREF!" Laxus yelled, "DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TOO SOON TO BE TELLING HER ALL OF THIS?!"

"I...I figured as much..." Lucy spoke softly.

"LUCY?!" Laxus yelled once again, surprised.

"Train me...Both of you...Train me...Please..." Lucy bows her bed as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I will." Zeref said.

"I will too Lucy! I promise!" Laxus ran to her side and rubbed her back.

"Give the note on my desk to the guild...have Master read it, but tell him the truth in advance..."

"Okay..." Laxus got up and began to walk to the door, "Come back at nightfall Zeref, we'll leave then."

Zeref nodded and walked over to Lucy.

"Leave us, I must talk to her," Zeref spoke.

Laxus waved goodbye and walked out.

"Zeref I-"

"Shh...It's okay, I know," Zeref rubbed Lucy's back and got her to relax.

"I can't kill you..."

 **...**

 **Sooooooo...I know it's been forever, but shit went down and life sucked...BUT I AM HERE NOW, SO!**

 **I missed you guys!**

 **R &R**

 **See ya!**

 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, guys... I'm back... Sorry, I'm late, I know everyone has been waiting for me. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

 **See you guys at the end!**

* * *

 **1.** Faery'sConfessions chapter 1 . Apr 13, 2016

This seems like it's going to be really interesting and I LOVE that you're making it a zerlu/zelu fanfic, there aren't many and I Can. Not. Wait. For the next chapter to come out and see what ideas you've come up with for this particular story!

 _I'm glad you like it, I'll make sure to keep it up!_

 **2.** Akira2993 chapter 2 . Jun 18, 2016

Please update Soon!

 _Here I am!_

 **3.** DemonEmpress33 chapter 1 . Jul 29, 2016

love it

 _Yay!_

 **4.** DemonEmpress33 chapter 2 . Jul 29, 2016

when will she meet zeraf ?

 _Well...assuming you've read my past chapters..._

 **5.** Faery'sConfessions chapter 4 . Oct 3, 2016

AHHHHHHHH! Omg I totally wish I had the time to nag you about updating...but I'm sure as we both (sorta..not really) have lives, that can't happen, I can however day it now UPDATE ASAP I fucking love this story(have I said that before) and I must read more, so please get to it as soon as POSSIBLE...LUV YA. THNX :)

 _I'm so happy you like it! :D_

 **6.** princess of hope -Lights chapter 4 . Oct 9, 2016

please update

 _I'm trying my best!_

 **7.** Okazaki Kaito chapter 1 . Jun 2, 2017

When i finished reading the first chapter , it made me cry , it reminded me alot of myself , all of it but the reason it made me cry was because it made me realize something ... Anyway people tell me im an emotional person and i dont agree with it but this fic is amazing... The reality and the emotions from it are overwhelming ... Its genius , its amazing , im glad im reading this now, i think it may have saved me in some wierd way ... Im not sure to be honest ... Anyway , thank you, so much sorry if you think im wierd but seriously ,  
thank you...

 _I'm so glad I messaged you about this and we became friends! I never knew my writing could mean so much to someone. I personally don't respond to the text when I write it or reread it. Is it really that powerful?_

 **8.** N Umbra chapter 4 . Aug 6, 2017

Wat da... N more already!

 _Lol, this actually made me laugh! I'm trying my best!_

 **9.** Samira Vongola chapter 4 . Sep 10, 2017

I hope you update soon

 _I am lol_

 **10.** RogueKarma Akashi Ace Ackerman chapter 4 . Oct 18, 2017

This is a good story so far! You left on a cliff hanger (I think) and haven't updated for over a year. Please update soon!

 _Yeah...sorry about that...Life got a little crazy..._

 **11.** arapyanime chapter 5 . Oct 28, 2017

Good fic! You should continue!

 _I will!_

 **12.** Unknown chapter 5 . Aug 6

UPDATE MORE!  
PLS!

 _Let's do it!_

* * *

 **I love the reviews guys and I love responding to y'all! Let's keep it comin'!**

 **Now...**

 **Back to the story!**

* * *

 _"Leave us, I must talk to her," Zeref spoke._

 _Laxus waved goodbye and walked out._

 _"Zeref I-"_

 _"Shh...It's okay, I know," Zeref rubbed Lucy's back and got her to relax._

 _"I can't kill you..."_

* * *

 **Normal POV**

"I know you cannot, but you will have to." Zeref pulls back and looks into her eyes. "I am meant to die by your hand, Lucy, you have to."

"But..." Trying to put her words together they ended up dying off into the air surrounding them.

"Lucy, you have to..."

"Who says Zeref? Honestly! Who says? I've actually stopped and talked to you after all the nightmares I've had about either killing you or...or...you know the other one I don't have to say it! Anyway! This is what you choose? Am I really that bad of a person? That you don't want to be with me? I'm that horrible, huh..? Fine!" Lucy started to pull the medical equipment off of her and out of her arms.

"Lucy! What are you doing?!" Zeref shouts.

"I'm leaving. I'm going anywhere but here." She stands from her best and summons Virgo and asks her for clothes. She strips in front of Zeref not even caring while she continues, "First your brother hurts me over and over again, then you. You come into my dreams and treat me amazingly, and when I finally meet you in person! You tell me over and over that I _'have_ to'!Have to my ass! I don't _have_ to do anything!" Tying her hair into a loose bun she signs herself out of the hospital ignoring the warnings of the doctors.

"Ma'am? Are you sure you're stable enough? You're still pain and the medicine still hasn't completely left your bloodstream.." A nurse spoke, genuinly worried.

Lucy walked up next to the nurse and spoke quiet enough so only she could hear.

"If you'd like, we can go back to the room I was in and I can _show_ you just _how much better I'm doing_?" The nurse's face turned beet red and she began to studder.

"W-we-well~ I-I mean... N-no! T-that wou-"

"Just kidding~!" Lucy finishes signing her self-checkout sheet and walks out the door followed by Zeref.

"Lucy, I-" He starts, but Lucy cuts him right off.

"We'll meet at my apartment tonight at 9. I'm going to meet Laxus at my place before anything else. Bye." With that, she begins walking away.

Walking to her apartment she calls Laxus on her lacrima and he answers almost immediately.

"What's up sis?"

"Zap to my apartment?"

"I got chu."

She walks into her apartment just as Laxus zaps in.

"Have you talked to Master yet?" She asks sitting on her couch.

"No, not yet."

"Cool, so, instead of you playing messenger, I want to write out a new letter, and give it to Master."

"But..." He knows she has more to say, but is having trouble saying it.

"I want to give it to him, but I don't want anyone to see me."

"Okay, so write the letter, I'll zap you there and we can all talk. There's going to be more than one letter though isn't there...?" He gets up and grabs two Diet Coke's from the fridge handing one to Lucy while she pulls another chair up to her desk.

"Yes, there will be." She sighs.

"To whom?"

"Erza, Gray, Wendy and Charla, Gajeel and Lily, Juvia, Levy, Cana and Mira." Labling the envelopes she began to write. "Oh, and one to the guild." She pulls two more envelopes.

"Sis, you pulled two.." He picks up the second envelope. "Who's this one for?"

"..."

Lucy just sits there and stares.

"Lucy... It's not for him... Right..?"

"I... I... It is..." She finally confessed.

"Are you sure..?"

"...yes..." She whispers.

"Alright. Start writing kiddo."

She looks down at the papers and begins to write.

 _Let's start with Erza..._ She thinks.

* * *

 **Sooooooo...I know it's been forever, but shit went down and life sucked...BUT I AM HERE NOW, SO!**

 **I missed you guys!**

 **I have a new poll on my page asking about a sequal. I currently have a story called Life That's Not There and I know I haven't been writing much lately , but I would definetly love to write a sequal to it when I finish that story. There are 5 canidates running for the male that will be pairing with Lucy:**

 **Rufus,**

 **Gray,**

 **Gajeel,**

 **Hibiki, and**

 **Elfman.**

 **Please vote on it! I'd love to know what you guys want to see next!**

 **Also, the next couple of chapters are going to be her letters to them. Depending on the length of the letter, they might be their own chapter, I might have two letter in one chapter though. I should have them firing out like hotcakes off the grill!**

 **Let me know what y'all think in the review section down below!**

 **R &R**

 **See y'all next time!**

 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Welcome back to Dark Minds, Even Darker Hearts! I hope y'all are enjoying my story so far!**

 **See you guys at the end!**

 _ **Definetly should listen to**_

 _ **Sober - Demi Lovato**_

* * *

 _"Alright. Start writing kiddo."_

 _She looks down at the papers and begins to write._

Let's start with Erza... _She thinks._

* * *

 **Normal POV**

 _Dear Erza,_

 _Oh my gosh Erza, I don't know what to say. I am literally speachless. I'm going to miss you so much, and I love you just as much I'll miss you. You took care of me, held me, loved me and trained me to be an incredible mage. It's because of you that I've made it this far. You mean so much to me. You're like the big sister I never had and I don't think I'd be able to thank you enough for everything you've done._

 _I promise it'll be okay Erza. I pinky promise it will be._

 _Hey Erza, I'm going to be leaving soon. Wait! Don't stop reading please! There's so much I have to tell you! Please don't cry... I promise. I'll be okay. Everything is just a little bit messy in my head right now. I've become addicted to many things in the past couple of years. Drugs, pills, alcohol and pain. Don't worry, I got help, so now I don't want you to have to worry anymore._

 _I got into alcohol after joining Fairy Tail, it kind of numbed everything._

 _I got into weed after one of my missions and loved the feeling of relaxing._

 _I got into acid after a one night stand with a man I no longer have the heart to mention._

 _I got out of acid eventually, but I got into heroine and still haven't put been able to put the needle down._

 _I got into pills when I couldn't get my needle._

 _The pain I've been in is because of the man I refuse to mention._

 _I promise I'll be okay though. I have people taking care of me._

 _No Erza, I see it in the back of your mind! Stop blaming yourself. You aren't my mother. You can't control or help someone who doesn't want to be helped or help themselves. It's almost impossible._

 _I think it'll be better for everyone if I disappear. Stop crying Erza. I don't even need to be there to know that you are._

 _It's okay Erza. I swear it's okay._

 _I'm sorry I didn't sya goodbye to you. I regret it, but I know if you saw me, you'd stop me. You and a few others would stop me. I don't want to be stopped though. It'll be better for everyone this way. I'm sure of it._

 _I will always remember the way we met. The way you hugged me. The way we talked and laughed. That all means so much to me Erza! I hope it means something to you too... Can I trust you enough to ask you to watch my apartment? There should be enough rent there for a while._

 _Wipe those tears Erza. You are one of the strongest girls I know. Straighten up soldier, stiffen that upper lip._

 _If I give you a song, promise you'll listen to it,_

 _Sober - Demi Lovato_

 _Remember Erza, I don't have an excuse for this, but I do need to be sober for a change._

 _Thank you for never leaving me. It means a lot to me. You were one of the bestest friends I could've asked for, and I will always love you._

 _Love you forever,_

 _Lucy Ashley Heartfilia_

 _Goodbye Erza._

 _P.S. I promise you, I'll become sober Erza._

She folds the letter into thirds and slides it into the envelope.

A single tear falls down her cheek and onto it.

"One down, nine to go Lucy. You can do it." Laxus encourages her.

"I know, I just wish it didn't have to be this way Laxus..."

"Shhh, I know Lucy, I know." He hugs her, "It'll be okay, it's just a few more."

Lucy looks at the clock.

3 pm.

"You know I'm going to become a mess when I write his...right...?" Lucy asks.

"Yes Lucy, I know you will."

* * *

 **I have a new poll on my page asking about a sequal. I currently have a story called Life That's Not There and I know I haven't been writing much lately , but I would definetly love to write a sequal to it when I finish that story. There are 5 canidates running for the male that will be pairing with Lucy:**

 **Rufus,**

 **Gray,**

 **Gajeel,**

 **Hibiki, and**

 **Elfman.**

 **Please vote on it! I'd love to know what you guys want to see next!**

 **Also, the next couple of chapters are going to be her letters to them. Depending on the length of the letter, they might be their own chapter, I might have two letter in one chapter though. I should have them firing out like hotcakes off the grill!**

 **Let me know what y'all think in the review section down below!**

 **R &R**

 **See y'all next time!**

 **Love,**

 **E.C.**


End file.
